


At Peace

by thequeenbeetch



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Valinor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-08
Updated: 2013-01-08
Packaged: 2017-11-24 05:06:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/630746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequeenbeetch/pseuds/thequeenbeetch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo arrives in Valinor, hoping to finally find rest, but as the years, then ages go by, he realizes that though he was granted immortality, his heart can never be whole again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At Peace

**Author's Note:**

> Please be warned that this was written on a whim and I did not employ a beta. If anyone sees any mistakes or things they think need correcting, be so kind and let me know!

Valinor had been everything Bilbo Baggins could have ever hoped it to be. The moment he stepped off the boat and into the awaiting Halls of Mandos, he felt lighter, and through the following days, then months and years, he could feel his body healing and his soul mending, the weight of the One Ring finally behind him for good. Both he and Frodo have found nothing but kindness and hospitality in the house of Manwe, greeted as heroes and treated as equals to all others within the hidden realm. The times were good once more in Middle Earth, and the joy transcended all of Arda.

Why then, did he not feel whole?

As the years passed they were joined by others of their old company, Thranduil had returned to Valinor, too weary among the dark trees of Mirkwood still, and though it became Greenwood once more, his soul longed for release. Shortly after, Samwise Gamgee was permitted to join them, having carried the Ring, even if for a short while. His beloved wife had gone and as his children neared their own passing he had realized that death would not be granted to him, and left for the Grey Heavens. Being joined by more of their friends made Bilbo cheerful again, for a while. Until another member of the Fellowship arrived.

Thranduil had greeted his son with unhidden joy, as Legolas stepped off the ship one day. Many tears of joy were shed and many songs were sand then, but none of them by Bilbo. All he could do was look at the one that arrived with the elven prince and realize what it was that ached within him so. Gimli, son of Gloin, had become the first, and only dwarf admitted into Valinor, his bond with Legolas and his service in the name of Galadriel having granted him that. And he deserved it, Bilbo could never deny him that, but… he had so wished it had been another. His heart ached, and soon he had found himself falling into despair.

***

“What is it that ails you so, Bilbo Baggins?”

The hobbit stood and spun around instantly, bowing before the Queen of the Valar as she approached him in the gardens of Lorien one day. He had only spoken to her a few times, and he could not imagine what would be so important as to bring her out to meet him.

“My lady Varda!” he said after a moment of confused silence, “I- f-fine! I am. Fine. I mean. I am alright and there is nothing ailing me. At all. My lady.” he bowed again, not daring to look at her.

She smiled softly as she knelt down and touched the side of his face, “You are not a liar, Ringbearer,” she said, “Your hear aches and that weighs heavily upon Valinor, and most of all upon my husband. Tell me how we could aid you?”

His eyes widened at the thought of the King of Valinor fussing over an old hobbit’s problem, and he quickly shook his head, “I- I don’t want to trouble you! I’m sure you’re very, very busy, ruling over the world and everything, you can assure lord Manwe that I’m fine and that he can rest easy. I’ll be absolutely fine.”

She nodded, standing, “As you wish, Bilbo Baggins. Though know that whatever ails you, if it were not healed when you passed through Mandos, it may not be in our power to heal now. Think well, Ringbearer, for you are not of this place and you yet have a choice. Best make it before you are bound to Valinor.”

She left, and with her the light that had for a moment filled Bilbo’s heart. No one stayed sad in the presence of the Queen of Valinor, but though some holes can be covered, they may be too deep to be filled.

“Is there a way back..?”

Vaire, the Weaver, looked with curiosity at the hobbit, as he stood by one of the tapestries she had adorned Mandos with. It was one that depicted him, as he fought under the mountain in the company of the fallen dwarven prince.

“Time cannot be turned, Ringbearer,” she said simply, “As I have woven the years, so they must remain.”

“Oh no..!” he truned to her and chuckled a bit awkwardly, “I meant back- out. I mean out. Of here. As in, to Middle Earth.

“There was but one that Manwe allowed to return,” she motioned to another tapestry, “And you knew him in your time,” Bilbo looked up at the image of Glorfindel, as he had slain the Balrog long before they had met, “But he was needed then, and you no longer are. Your time in Middle Earth passed and you may now rest.”

“… So I can’t leave? I’m stuck for eternity here?”

She looked down at him, stricken by the sorrow in his voice as his eyes returned to the weaving of the Lonely Mountain and the youthful, handsome visage of Thorin Oakenshield, just before he fell that fateful day. He appeared to age and his eyes glistened with tears, as he touched the tapestry.

“It is not your life that you wish for, Bilbo Baggins,” she whispered, “You wish for death.”

“I can’t die now, can I?” he asked, not tearing his eyes off of the weaving, “I was granted eternity.”

An eternity alone, he thought, letting his tears flow.

***

Bilbo managed to force a smile as Gandalf had entered his home. The wizard had made visits often, though he spent most time with his former mistress, aiding her as much as he could. The hobbit moved slowly around the place, fetching tea and cake and other properly hobbit commodities. He fussed with the plates and cups and mused how much it reminded him about the past.

“All we need now is a bunch of dwarves to come here and annoy me,” he mumbled to himself, and then set the food down for Gandalf and slumped down in his armchair.

The wizard did not smile as he gazed over his friend.

“You don’t look very well, Bilbo. Perhaps you should take a nap?”

“Oh come now Gandalf… A Baggins should’t doze off while he’s having a guest now, should he? Though I feel a tad cold… mind fetching me that blanket?”

The Maiar smiled as he stood and wrapped the warm blanket around Bilbo, tucking him in despite his protests. Soon enjough though, Bilbo stopped fussing and leaned back, feeling strangely warm and calm.

“… Maybe you’re right,” he said softly, “Maybe I should sleep a bit. I haven’t, in a long while, you know? I can’t sleep properly, each time I’m back at that cursed mountain. That cursed battle.”

Gandalf nodded, lighting his pipe, “There are wounds not even the Valar can heal. But that is past. Thorin is at peace, Bilbo. And soon you will be too.”

“I’m… quite fine…” the hobbit mumbled as he begun to drift off, “if Manwe inquires again, I’m… very much… fine….” his voice faded as he had drifted off into sleep.

Gandalf stood and wrapped the blanket around the hobbit, picking him up gently, and carrying him, now still and cold, to his bed.

“You are fine, Bilbo,” he whispered, smiling through his own tears, “And you shall meet him again, soon. You shall be at peace.”


End file.
